Whoah - I forgot I had a blog there - the world weeps.

I did a couple of cartoons for spamusement which is a great concept & site where he makes comics out of actual spam subject lines. Anyway I was a bit pissed & decided to join in. I have a feeling these will never get published, maybe he hates me.

If you love her you'll look


story - your mother isn't in pain any more


story - your mother isn't in pain any more 2


Last night was a biiig family dinner for my grans 90th. she hasn't got out of bed in like a year so it was amazing she came out at all! My granparents are so old - the other one is 94 - she's had all 3 hips replaced & she had to have her wisdom hips removed only last month - she's an inspiration.

2 of my uncles were over, one lives in america & the other is extremely rich and lives all over the place. He's got a bit of a complex - my brother reckons because he is so short. But despite his riches & success he constantly feels the need to get one up on everyone - despite being head of uncles for our family:

Richard [uncle] "You're a teacher james, where is your school in the league tables..?"
James [brother] "I duno - in the top 10 I reckon"
Richard "No - where exactly?"
James "I don't know! 5, 7 - something like that"
Richard "Oh Anthony [his son] went to Westminster - I believe they were 1 or 2"

Anyway - this will all be appearing in my next epic family dinner comic - fantastic, that was a bit of a taster. I feel a bit guilty abotu the comics when they have my family in it - I use alot of artistic licence & it all gets a bit out of hand & the people no longer resemble my family but all quickly transform into demons of my own creation. This is all in the name of art - but I think my parents would be most destressed if they read it :( Something to look forwards to... anyway, my mum got hold of the URL and she couldn't work out how to get tot he next picture - hurrah!

Knows it. 1983.

That's pretty much all I could say - or indeed all there was to say while watching Goldie Lookin' Chain last night - awesome. The sound was terrible, we were right by a speaker but I could only hear drums & vocals. it was enough to get down - but couldn't hear the music very well. Still a spectacular sight to see over 20 rappers taking the piss in leisure wear - it was an awesome gig.

After we went for some late night drinking & I met '2 visors' and a load of other clarts int he Troi in London's west end. She makes all her own merchandise - tempation to steal '[your mother's got a]penis' lighter - high.

I was in good spirits - they were playing a smiths single album quietly. It was really annoying cause I often had to stop singing and check where the song was.

Moondog club last night - absolutely great! Stu's other band David Cronenburg's Wife were playing who were fantastic - and extremely sexy, mmmm. What was even more sexy was the manga orgy going on on the screens directly behind them! Well, if you call a giant vagina beast with 10 huge cock tentacles worrying girls sexy - and let's face it, who doesn't?

If the human body is the most advanced and perfect machine on the planet - then why am I having a fucking period?? Periods happen in ANTICIPATION of conception - the womb gets all padded out ready for babiesville - and then when it realises you're not pregnant it's all "Oh - sorry about that [BLEED BLEED BLEED]" - utter rubbish!! If it was so perfect then it would only bulk out if you sodding well got pregnant - not every month!!

Bit more about my job - I have really set myself up as being a complete loser. I've only been there a couple of weeks and I've already managed to (a) go to the wrong area/building on my 1st day (b) was late for a big meeting (c)...

Had an 'away day' today. Was supposed to be 9.30 at bakers street. I got up late & missed my train BUT - when I got there it had been cancelled anyway - sadly the later train was really delayed so I was going to be late anyway.

I got to the place at about 9.55 & I was terrified - I peered through a bit of the door & saw a tiny bit of a row of people sitting silently. In my mind that was part of a huge conference room with some important guy giving a lecture on a huge lectern. I decided not to disturb them by scraping around chairs & went for coffee until they had their break (at 11.30!!) I got there at break - my line manager was really pissed off - it turned out that far from being a huge lecture it was only about 30 people & it was really informal. She said they didn't even start until 10 - what a fool :(

AND - I have managed to lose my cash card & my phone - not at work, but everyone knows about it. I even had to borrow money of people - ALREADY.

What a big loser :-/ At least I am really over qualified for this job - I guess I'll just have to pretend I'm autistic (again) and dazzle them with my HTML skills.

Oh god they are going to read this aren't they - oh shit.

OK - I am starting my blog up again. I am so fickle - it only takes one compliment by anyone to get me to do anything. My mate toby tripp Who's cartoons are both hilarious & original said he liked my blog. See - that's all it takes, I am blogging like a twat - look, I am doing it RIGHT NOW - look! tap tap tap tap. So - what's happened to me in the interim? I have started my own web comic local girl and people that matter seem to think it's good, people that don't think it's awful. It's so weird how it all started, are you sitting comfortably? THEN I'LL BASTARD BEGIN:

I was working at visit London at the time & they started up a section called kids love London - they wanted a comic character to be the face of the site - they decided it should be a caricature of me - now it could be that I am witty, cool & generally a fantastic role model for children - or it COULD be that [REMOVED] - I don't know, I just don't know. SO - me being a professional doodler & part-time egomaniac had already done a load of cartoons of my face & I said "HEY - let me do the drawings" and they were all like "Yeah - ok then", part one of the story is complete.

I move from being a coder to an illustrator NOW - fast forward a week - Stu & I go out to the country to fill our heads full of the fantastic B+ mushrooms got email-order from red eye frog which BTW is an excellent site for mushrooms & other 'legal' highs - full of advice & user message boards. B+ are by far the best shrooms though - they are a 'happy' high - like a mix between E & shrooms.

OKOK - back to the story: SO - I have my notepad with me & just start drawing & drawing - I'm drawing while I'm walking around and everything. I've always liked comics but I guessed my drawing has always left a lot to be desired - I figured I could never authentically capture the funnier ideas in my head - but I WAS WRONG - you don't need to be a good artist to get across a funny idea. The way you draw is just a form of self-expression - if you can't draw then that's just the way it's meant to be! So - I did all these toons & it went on all night - I was drawing in pizza express that night. My cynical side said it would all leave me the next day but IT DIDN'T - far from it, I was drawing solidly for like 3 weeks - the shrooms just unlocked this big dusty bit of my brain & the comics got better & better.

OK - so I'm not drawing nearly as much as I did but I still do it & I hope to get a print version going as soon as possible. It's funny - I'd always had ideas for jokes & funny ideas & they just went down in a note book. Meaningless drivel when I looked back at it... but with pictures - it means a lot! Now whenever I think of a funny idea for an advert, a shop name, a band name - it all has a place to live - IN MY COMIC - yehhh. What else then?? Yeah - I now work at the [REMOVED]. Basically I work on a coding team building the front end for all the [REMOVED]. Yeah - I guess working at the [REMOVED] is a cool thing - but to me it's just another coding job - damn it I want to do something creative with my life. I must say they are all really great guys though & I know I will enjoy it there. I've only been there a couple of weeks & it seems OK. I wish I could be myself right away & not have this weird incubation period where I feel like an idiot for about 3 months. I guess everyone has that.

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